Johanna Rae and the Mystery of the Amazon Book

A couple of days ago, a bubble-wrapped package showed up at my door.  Let me tell you, I love getting mail.  There's something so much more personal about a handwritten letter than an email, and I need not remind you of my stationary obsession.  So a personal package? YES.

I tore into it-- okay, I used scissors-- to find that I am the customer and the recipient.  Yet it was ordered on the day I was driving back from New York, and has not appeared on my credit cards.

I don't quite understand.  It's called, "We Feel Fine."  Intrigued?  So was I!  I haven't really looked in it, in case I should be sending it back, but it's called "an almanac of human emotion."  Even more intrigued?  Me too!  But, I'm also a little disturbed.

Is this supposed to be some sort of message?  Like, "Hey, Robot, here's a book of human emotions, LEARN SOME."  Or,  "Here's something to store in that icebox (where your heart used to be)."

Come on, people.  Gift message that shite! 

I wrote the company to make sure that no one has stolen my identity and opened up a credit card in my name and is going on crazy shopping sprees and ruining my credit.  And, ya know, sent me this book as a thank you.  And as a jumping point for when I'm speechless after finding out that I'm somehow $15,000 in credit card debt, and yet still miniature pig- and e-reader-less.  (Yes, that's right, if I was that far into debt, I would totally have my teacup pig and my B&N nook right now.  My needs are simple.)

Does anyone have any information about this mystery book?  Please let me know.  Though I do enjoy playing Nancy Drew (still missing 26 books of that 1940s collection, if my next mystery sender needs ideas).  I will pull out my titian-haired wig and pull on my green cotton, knee-length, wide-shoulder, empire-waist dress.  With nothing but my flashlight and my wits to protect me, I will solve the Mystery of the Amazon Book!

Look out, mystery sender, Johanna Rae is on your trail!